


Christmas Lights

by savage626



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Almost solely eruri, Angst...maybe?, Art student Levi, Businessman Erwin, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Rated for swearing, eruri - Freeform, holiday party, more tags to come, rated for drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 14:18:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2853884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savage626/pseuds/savage626
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Celebrating the season was the last thing on Erwin's mind when he attended Petra's holiday party. But things don't go as planned when he's finally face-to-face with the only person he wanted to see this Christmas. Now he's stuck trying to fix what's broken and regain the hard-won affections of that stubborn shorty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Lights

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfic in forever. It started as a Christmas AU, but several chapters will take place during other holidays and the rest of the year. It's evolved into a modern AU following Levi and Erwin through their relationship. The title is inspired by the Coldplay song by the same title. 
> 
> I tried to be true to the characters, but I gave myself some slack since it's a modern AU and I think they all would be slightly different because of that. 
> 
> Rating may change as I update this. I'll add tags as I go too. Currently rated for references to consuming alcohol and swearing (my potty mouth is worse than Levi's and I'm proud of this). 
> 
> I had this idea awhile back, but procrastination is one of my biggest vices. So is perfectionism and non-linear writing. So I don't write chapter by chapter and I will re-edit content way too many times. That said, I don't have a beta reader and I may miss spelling and grammar errors, so if you come across any consider this my apology in advance.
> 
> All disclosures apply - I don't own any copyrights to the characters, story, songs, etc. (I don't know if this is necessary). 
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved and appreciated! 
> 
> Anyway, here's my Eruri Christmas story. I wanted to get something out there before the holiday spirit leaves me completely. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Levi!

### My Only Wish This Year

He took a deep breath and watched the cloud of it dissipate into the cold night air as he prepared to knock on the red door to Petra's townhouse. Stalling, he stared at the dark pine wreath hanging on it, appreciating its simple beauty and the almost perfect symmetry of the decorations adorning it. He remembered receiving a rather adamant lecture about the artistic value of such things. And as he thought about the person who'd given him that lecture, he almost turned around right there to avoid having to see him again. 

And yet wasn't he hoping to see him here?

He didn't want to admit to himself that he had ulterior motives for accepting Petra's invitation to her annual Christmas party, that he was here in hope of staging a casual run in with a particular dark-haired man unintentionally. To what avail he still wasn't sure. 

_I'm an idiot_ he thought as he finally gathered the courage (or conceded defeat) and knocked on the door. He didn't have to wait long for Petra to open it with a pretty smile on her face, a bright red Santa hat covering her tangerine hair.

“Erwin! I'm so glad you could make it!” she exclaimed as she hugged him.

“Thank you for inviting me,” he replied, shrugging out of his woolen, charcoal trench coat and unwrapping his emerald green scarf. Petra took them from him draping them over her arm and she gestured down the hallway with the other.

“Everyone is in the kitchen, just at the end of the hallway. Go make yourself at home and I'll join you in a moment,” she instructed, the smile never leaving her face. 

Erwin nodded and began slipping off his boots, placing them with the other pairs. There weren't many yet, as he was, in his typical fashion, early. Though he knew that if this party was anything like the one he went to last year, he would not be able to find his shoes buried under all the others at the end of the night. He watched Petra move up the stairs to his right to what he assumed was the bedroom serving as the coatroom. 

He admired the apartment for a moment as he traveled down the hallway. Just to his left on the other side of the foyer there was a rather large living room. It connected to the dining room, which he assumed connected to the kitchen that was at the end of this hallway as well, making up the entire western wall of the first floor. The hallway was divided from the rooms by a white wall with beautiful paneling and framed by crown molding. The entire first floor was covered in a light oak hardwood that matched the molding. The floors were tastefully covered with various rugs, all themed for the holiday, but tying perfectly to the furniture and decorations that littered the house. He wasn't at all surprised by this, knowing that Petra was studying to be an interior designer. Of course she would splurge on home decor. 

As he walked down the hallway he admired the paintings hanging on the wall. They appeared to be a series of five winter cityscapes – acrylic if he wasn't mistaken. The details were amazing, the artist having a meticulous eye for depth and contrast, but the content was perhaps a bit melancholy and lonely. Despite his almost pretentious reflections on the paintings, he did not pay them much attention save for sidelong glances. But the last one caught his eye and he found himself staring at it for a long moment. It was a night scene – a snow covered street lit up by the decorated trees and neon business signs, there were no footprints or car tracks on the freshly fallen snow – it reminded him of a memory he held fondly. He glanced at the artist signature and realized immediately why he knew the scene so intimately. He couldn't help the feeling of warmth that swept through him. _If he painted it, it must have meant something to him too._

Laughter coming from the kitchen pulled him back into reality and he continued on his way. Coming around the corner he found Hanji laughing hysterically and pointing toward the archway between the kitchen and dining room. Hanging there was a rather large display of mistletoe, and under it stood Auruo, angry and red all the way to the top of his ears, holding a napkin to his tongue and shaking his fist at a young brunette boy that Erwin had never met. 

“What's going on in here?” Petra asked, sneaking in behind Erwin and drawing attention their way. 

“Erwin!” Hanji exclaimed as she rushed toward him. Through her very zealous hug and rambled greetings Erwin could barely hear Auruo explaining indignantly to a giggling Petra that the brunette had kissed his cheek and that he had bit his tongue.

“Here I can take that for you,” Hanji motioned toward the bottle of wine Erwin had brought as a hostess gift. 

“Have you met everyone?” she asked as she set the bottle on the counter with several others. When he shook his head, she entwined their arms and led him toward the dining room. 

“Not everyone is here yet, but this is the setup crew,” she said motioning toward the small group of people setting out various items in the three main rooms. 

“This is Armin,” she said pointing to the blond boy standing nearest to them. He turned from setting up some cups on the breakfast bar and smiled, his bright blue eyes alighting with kindness. 

“Armin this is Erwin.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Armin said, reaching his hand out.

“Likewise,” Erwin replied as he shook the kid's hand. He had a surprisingly strong grip despite his small physique and apparent young age.

“And that's Mikasa,” Hanji pointed toward the young Asian girl with short black hair and a red scarf. Mikasa waved before returning to arranging the dishes; the spread almost covered the entire table, making it difficult to see the holly-printed table cloth underneath it.

“You know Auruo, and his new admirer is Eren.” she giggled pointing toward the living room where Auruo sat on the couch while Petra and Eren setup more decorations on the fireplace mantel and the piano sitting in the corner. 

“Hello Erwin, its good to see you again,” Auruo greeted from across the room. Erwin raised his hand in the form of a wave.

“Let's get you something to drink, and then I could use your help setting up the entertainment system.” Hanji walked back behind the breakfast bar and toward the refrigerator.

“Your setup crew seems kind of young...” Erwin stated when he was out of earshot from the teens. 

“Yes, they're in high school still. Sophomores I think? Anyway, Levi asked me to keep an eye on them while he gets Isabel and Farlan. They were all supposed to get the same train ride in, but Eren bought the tickets so far in advance that by the time Isabel and Farlan were ready to buy theirs that train was all booked up.”

“Is he Carla's son?” Erwin asked when the puzzle pieces from his conversations with Levi clicked together. The man was not one to talk about his past or his family, but Erwin had picked up on a few things over the months. 

“That's right. And Mikasa is his adopted sister, Armin his best friend, ” Hanji laughed, “Anyway, what are you having to drink? Since our favorite bartender isn't going to make it until later, the only themed drinks we have are that punch Armin is setting up and eggnog. We also have a selection of beer or wine or if you don't want any of that we have...” 

Hanji continued to list off the drinks in the fridge, but all Erwin had heard were those first words. He felt a confusing mix of relief, panic, and disappointment. It was intimidating being surrounded by the man's close friends. He wasn't sure how much they knew, nor how much he wanted to talk about it really. It was probably a good thing that Levi wasn't coming until later, and that he'd have all of these friends to occupy his attention. They could avoid any lengthy awkward conversations that way. But Erwin seemed, strangely, more disappointed in that prospect.

“I'm sorry, is it too awkward?” Hanji interrupted his thoughts with a condoling look. Her brows were knit together and her lips pressed into a thin line as she accessed Erwin's contemplative visage.

“I beg your pardon?” Erwin blinked and tried not to look too embarrassed.

“The whole thing with Levi. I know he said that your break up was amiable, but...” she quietly trailed off, pausing, and Erwin felt his heartbeat speed up, “... part of me wonders if he said that for our sake. Since Petra is working so closely with you on her senior design project, and you got along so well with our group of friends. I know him well enough to know when he's hurting, even if he won't admit it, but he would never let us suffer for it.” 

The soft, tender tone and sympathetic attitude was so uncharacteristic for what he knew of Hanji, that Erwin's heart broke all over again. He felt like spilling every detail to her, pouring his heart out in an attempt to correct that out-of-place pity. And worse, he too knew Levi was hurting, and it was his fault. And he could do nothing to fix that. 

“You're right, it wasn't exactly amiable,” he said instead, “but I can assure you that it will not be awkward. I will do everything I can to be civil and agreeable. Please do not underestimate how grateful I am to have been invited into your home for this event.”

Hanji brightened at that, a smile returning to her features. “You're very welcome. And don't misunderstand me, we're very glad you're here.”

Erwin gave her a small smile in return, “I'll have a glass of red wine please,” he said. Hanji dug around in the fridge for a moment before pulling out a bottle of Pinot Noir. She poured him a glass and started to ramble about the sound system not connecting to the speakers throughout the house.

After he sorted through the wires and connections for the entertainment system, and finally heard the Christmas music playing out of each of the speakers, he retired to the couch and his glass of wine. A dozen or so other people had showed up now and the remaining setup had been completed as well. There were several groups of people gathering in small circles of conversation throughout the dining room and living room in front of him. He recognized a few of them from the Garrison bar, where Petra worked, and he assumed many others were friends of hers from school. A small group, gathered around Hanji, seemed to be her group of friends from the museum and/or school as well. 

Everyone seemed to be too preoccupied to notice him yet. He relished in the moment of ambiguity and peace, knowing that he would have at least five new friends at the end of the night once his charisma took over and he started chatting with guests. Yet, that wasn't what he was looking forward to most. He took this brief moment to himself to consider what he was in for tonight. He felt again a muddled wave of emotions and thoughts. He couldn't quite pin down why he was – the strongest emotion contending for his attention – excited about the prospect of seeing Levi again. 

Considering he had, for all intents and purposes, fucked up royally on that front. 

Trepidation slowly crept into the forefront of his mind as he felt the weight of that realization. It wasn't an epiphany, considering he had gone over it several hundred times already, but it was a newer sentiment for this evening. He had allowed himself to hope, perhaps foolishly, perhaps in the spirit of the holiday, and he still wanted to hold onto that more than anything. And yet, for all his previous attempts to contact Levi, he had no basis for that hope; Levi still hadn't spoken to him in months. 

_Tonight will be different,_ he thought. 

Erwin wasn't given any time to reconsider (again) when the doorbell rang. He heard Petra answer it with a gleeful giggle, one that was matched by the woman at the door. He wanted to watch the scene, but was frozen in place, blood running cold and heart thudding loudly in his chest, at the sound of a deep, smoky voice. 

“Sorry we're late, traffic was a nightmare.”

He remembered that voice so clearly. The one that haunted his best nightmares. And after that brief moment of paralysis all he wanted to do was spin around. He had to see that beautifully angular face again, that silky raven hair, those piercing stormy eyes. He missed it all – God how he missed it - but he willed himself to stay in place, cautiously preventing such a desperate display. If he wanted all his foolish hope to finally pay off, he had to play this cool.

Unfortunately, the only person who could ever throw Erwin off his game was standing in the doorway.

***

Of course the traffic had been a nightmare. It's a Saturday night in Chicago, and to make matters worse, it was the last weekend to shop before Christmas. So every idiot in the city and all of its suburbs was out tonight. Their heads so far up their own asses they couldn't decipher which sales they would take advantage of from which lane they should be in.

However, Levi felt his irritation leave him when Petra's response was simply to hug him and say, “You're just in time.”

The warm air inside Petra's townhouse was welcoming and appreciated when contrasted to the cold night air. It smelled like Christmas trees thanks to the collection of lit balsam candles on the side table in the living room. Levi chuckled internally when he thought about the first time he bought one of those for Petra several years back. Now she was as addicted to them as he was (though he'd switched from candles to scented diffusers since the smoke started leaving black streaks on his walls). 

“Here I'll take your coats upstairs,” Petra smiled. Farlan slipped out of his leather jacket almost immediately at her request. He tugged the hems of his layered plaid button up and navy Christmas sweater over the top of his dark jeans almost bashfully. 

“Thanks,” he murmured. Petra nodded sweetly as she took the coat from him, and then she took Levi's black double-breasted wool coat before heading upstairs with them. Levi looked over at Farlan, who was still watching Petra walk away. 

“You do realize she has a boyfriend right?” 

Farlan blushed, “I don't know what you're talking about.” 

Levi didn't respond; he'd known for awhile now that Farlan had a small crush on Petra – or that he at least found her to be beautiful. It didn't need to be said again. Instead, he started walking toward the kitchen, Farlan and Isabel in tow. 

He glanced into the living room at the large group of people gathered there. Some people he recognized, but only from these kinds of events, and no one he really wanted to speak with. Mostly he wanted to check in with Eren and Mikasa, who were clearly not a part of that group. 

Yet before passing by the archway, out of the corner of his eye, he saw what he thought was a familiar blonde head and broad shoulders. _That's not possible_ he thought, brushing the idea of running into his ex out of his mind almost immediately. But not before his heart skipped a beat. 

He focused instead on the arrangement of paintings – _his paintings_ – Petra had hung in the hallway. Had he not completely schooled his expressions to remain stoic, he may have blushed, especially when Isabel decided to point them out and compliment each one individually. 

“Your painting is absolutely amazing, big brother,” she vociferated, “you're probably the best in the whole city – no the whole country!”

Levi found Eren and Mikasa in the kitchen with Hanji, a convenient location for him to start mixing the holiday cocktails he promised to make tonight. They smiled at him as he approached. 

“Hey! You're early,” Eren exclaimed as he met Farlan and Isabel with hugs. He knew better than to greet Levi that way, even if the man was like an older brother to him. 

“Good to see you, kid,” Farlan replied, “and you too Mikasa.”

The other quiet raven nodded and hugged them as well, but before she could speak, Hanji was interrupting.

“Levi! I have something I have to discuss with you!” 

“Really four-eyes? I've been here for all of about two minutes and you're going to start already?” Levi voiced the irritation that was clear on Mikasa's face. 

“No, you don't understand! It's really importa– ” Hanji was cut off by Petra racing into the kitchen.

“Hanji, your present for Moblit is leaking all over the bedroom floor!” Petra exclaimed. Wide-eyed and slack-jawed, the brunette forgot her imperative announcement in exchange for the necessary and urgent rescue of her boyfriend's preserved platypus egg and rushed upstairs. Levi rolled his eyes and tried not to think about the mess of formaldehyde before getting to work on his holiday coolers.

“So did you do anything fun in the city today?” Isabel asked Eren and Mikasa.

“We did some Christmas shopping on Michigan Ave.” Eren answered.

“Every store was packed though,” Mikasa added, “I think I prefer shopping at home for that reason.”

“I don't blame you. That's why I get all of my shopping done as early as possible,” Farlan agreed. 

“I still haven't done any of mine,” Isabel admitted quietly as she glanced at the date on her phone's screen.

“Nothing like waiting until the last minute,” Farlan chided with a knowing smirk.

“I have a week still, no big deal. I plan to do most of it this weekend while we're here anyway.”

“Have fun with that,” Levi finally joined the conversation, without looking up from the drinks he was mixing.

“Aren't you going to come with me, big bro?” Isabel did her best trying to sound innocent and pleading, batting her eyelashes and pouting her lips. 

“Not a chance in hell. And don't make that face, you look like an idiot.”

Isabel's pout took on a scowl as she slouched against the counter, defeated. Levi ruffled her hair in his signature way of apologizing to her (and only her) before topping off each of the glasses in front of him with a stick candy cane and mint sprig.

“What are these?” Eren asked when he was finished.

“Candy Cane Coolers,” Levi replied, “here, this is the non-alcoholic version.”

Eren took the pitcher of light pink liquid and the left over mint and candy canes and poured three glasses for himself and his friends. Levi transferred the few dozen cocktails onto trays before setting them out on the breakfast bar.  
“Okay, that's one crisis averted,” Hanji proclaimed as she entered the kitchen again, “Levi, wait I have to tell you something!” 

Levi ignored her as he moved past her and toward the foyer in search of Petra. He figured she'd want to know that her requested drinks were ready. He walked through the hallway, eyes trained on the stairway as he glanced up to where she had last been, and not watching where he was going. 

His peripherals caught movement and drew his attention quickly to the person walking briskly through the living room archway. He reacted quick enough to avoid a collision with the rather large figure, but the sudden stop caused Petra's drink to slosh over his hand. He glared peevishly at the sticky substance coating his hand before transferring his gaze to the offender, cross words ready on his tongue.

But when his silver eyes met those icy blues, he held his tongue. Shock and panic took hold of him momentarily before he realized the feelings were reflected on Erwin's face as well. Anger fought its way to the surface, pushing past and burying in its wake the other thoughts and emotions that threatened to overtake. For a split second they flashed in his eyes before his scowl returned.

“Levi, I – how – wh – ” Erwin stuttered uncharacteristically, before composing himself.

“Hi,” he finally settled on. He smiled lightly, his gaze softening, and Levi found it difficult to resist admiring those beautiful eyes, those full lips. He remembered the last time Erwin had looked at him this way and he wanted to kiss him now as he had then. He felt the rush of an emotion he purposely did not name, followed closely by the two conditioned responses – grief then anger. He narrowed his eyes and glowered harder.

“Tch,” he scoffed, portraying an irritation for Erwin's greeting, but really berating himself for his irrational, uncontrolled reaction. He didn't want to talk to this man, he reminded himself (again), so he turned and headed up the stairs to find Petra. 

***

He had left Erwin standing in the foyer, unanswered, unacknowledged, and completely dumbfounded. Of all the potential scenarios to play out tonight, this had been his most feared. Leave it to Levi to be able to ignore him in person as well as he can through all other forms of communication.

The warm, candle-lit foyer became stifling and Erwin slipped on his coat and shoes quickly before stepping out for some fresh air. 

Yep, he had royally fucked up. And he was an idiot.

He leaned against the railing at the bottom of the small stairway and tried to think of a way to fix his current predicament, but his mind raced out of kilter with untamed emotions and memories.

Oh, how these Christmases were turning out so vastly different.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you've enjoyed it so far. I will update as quickly as possible.
> 
> Kudos and Comments are loved and appreciated!


End file.
